As I have gotten older, I have realized that there are certain things that everyone needs to know in life and that many of those things will not come naturally or be taught to you by those that should have.  One of those examples in life is that I have discovered that there are 4 things that ever man should no or has to deal with that isn’t how to handle.  Here are those four things in my opinion.

How to deal with Anger, Frustration and disappointment in a healthy way

This life tells us that it is OK to be pissed off when we do not get our way.  If fact it “demands” that we take action and act out if we don’t.  we  are encouraged to tell the world how we are wronged via social


To give up your needs, wants and desires above your own kids, your wife, and those that you love

Being the head of your house means that you need to have moral authority and that your family must come first. How do you be a loving husband and father who puts the needs of everyone in his family first over his own?    Who has never made a mistake and  lost the trust of those that depend on them?  Being unselfish in this world today is not only rare but is preached against.   Everywhere you go, people tell you to “take care of yourself”,  or “do what makes you happy”.  If we all please ourselves, there would be no one to take care of sick children or dying parents that need us there in their final year and months.  Who can model this for us?


How to be a father that your kids deserve

I have never yet met someone who had the perfect parents and upbringing. Who has had a parent that laid a foundation for their children to never do the wrong thing?  That offered unconditional love no matter what we did?  One that always encouraged you and accepted you for who you were?  One that praised you as much for the B + plus that you studied your ass off for as for the A+ that you got that didn’t need to study at all for.

That you have to go painfully first in life as the head of your house

Going painfully first in life is the most difficult thing in the world for me.  It basically means that if you desire any meaningful change in the relationships with those that love you and are in your life, that you must go first to “set the tone” even if they do not act right with you.  I recall times in my life that I was 100% in the right and totally justified if I wrote someone off in life, but instead chose to do the right thing and show them grace, mercy and peace offering to open the channels of communication.  Some off those things has produced things for me more precious than gold.  Things like my 3 youngest children and my family in MN that has been around for me after my blood family has past away or left.

So What Do You Do To Change This?

These are things that have plagued me and troubled my mind my entire life. Being a man that solves problems for a living both personally and professionally, I see things very black and white. I believe very much in right versus wrong , tit for tat, and I believe that if you do good things for other people, good thing should come your way. In life, this is just not reality. This is why I find it very hard to be happy when I always do the right thing and others choose to not and it negatively affects me. When I meet the needs of others and they say “thank you” and make a conscious effort to never meet my needs.  It seems as if the whole world takes and  never gives.  And I have had a hard time accepting that fact. The question that I asked earlier is, what do you do to overcome our desire to have our needs met even when those that love us fail to meet ours? The only thing that has ever made me realize that doing the right thing is always the right thing to do has been to count the things that really matter in my life.  How many times have you sat back and thought “I am so lucky to have my children? I’m so lucky to have my job that provides for me financially. I am so lucky to have a roof over my head” (even if the rent is late), or that “I have a car to get to work”, etc?

If you want to learn how to be a better man or a better person, I encourage you for the next 30 days to write down one thing that you are thankful for every single day and get your family to do the same thing. At the end of those 30 days please compare those lists and be thankful for what the Lord has provided for you.