Nothing seems to anger people more than being told they are wrong, that the way they are living is not right, or God forbid that you say they are living in sin which is separating them from God. For the longest time, I was one of those people who hated correction and didn’t want to admit that the way I lived was not honoring to God.
God’s Law
When my children were growing up, we had a statement that my wife at the time had picked up from one of the Christian homeschool co-ops that we attended. That statement was, “others may, we may not.” That’s such a profound statement, because it reminds me of what Paul is telling the Roman believers in the book of Romans and Corinthians. He is outlining how we as believers should live and the rules of God that we are to follow, and he goes so far as to even tell us the consequences we shall face if we choose to disobey those laws and sin against God, the passive and then active wrath of God. (Romans 1:18-32). In the past year, I have had everyone, including my children ask me why “I refuse to be flexible as it relates to God’s rules and laws”. I think some of that comes from the fact that they recognized I picked and chose what parts of the Bible I believed or what rules I chose to follow in years past. I think the rest of it comes from most people simply not knowing who God is and that His way is better. When questions arise about why I follow God’s law so strictly, it brings me back to one of the first conversations I had during a time when I was kept from seeing my children for many months. I remember having a conversation with Pastor Rick and telling him that I felt like I may never see my kids again. His response was so simple and yet so impactful that it in part shaped who I have become over the last 13 months. He told me that “if you expect God to step in and intervene, you better become the man that He intended you to be and the Godly father that He wants you to be because God will not bless, and cannot honor those who are actively sinning against Him”. He went on to show me biblical proof of this (1Peter 3:7, 2 chronicles 7:14, palms 34:17, psalm 84:11, James 4:6, psalm 66:18). This is one of the main reasons that I choose to not actively sin like I used to because I want God to hear my prayers and to bless my family. That is a message that you will never hear in church or anywhere else unless you meet somebody who is willing to tell you the truth about God and his law. I’m thankful to God every day that I met a man that refused to tell me that “God loves you just as you are” but instead told me that I needed to repent, beg God to forgive me and show me mercy and Grace that I didn’t deserve. God answered my prayers and I now get to see my kids all the time! My life has been so different since that moment and yours can be too.
Our Kids are Watching
Other than the aforementioned, one of the biggest reasons I choose to teach my kids God’s way, not my old way is that they only see and believe what is modeled to them. They see the face of God in their parents and they see all our shortcomings. This is why so many people cannot understand who God really is and how He works. If I let my children see that it’s OK to yell and scream when I get angry or call names, they will yell and scream when they get angry. If I show them its ok to disrespect others or my spouse, they will grow up to think that is normal and ok and even that God is ok with it. The same is true for more serious things like If we as parents show them it’s OK to date multiple people or live with and sleep with people who we are not married to, they will believe that it’s ok and sanctioned by God. They will grow up to repeat our shortcomings. This is terrifying for me having 3 girls and why I as their dad want to model the behavior a man should exhibit as they will use that model as they choose their future husbands. Knowing what Pastor Rick and God had revealed to me, I had to ask were we making our children stumble by showing them behavior opposite of Gods will and law? The answer was yes. I resolved to refuse to do that any longer. God says “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” (Matthew 18:6). God also says “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates (Deuteronomy 6:6-9). Seems like very clear direction for me on how I’m supposed to lead and teach as their dad and I will do so no matter what others think or say is acceptable. “As for me and my house, we will serve the lord” (Joshua 24-15)
Summary
No one wants to hear that God has a doctrine. That He has laws and rules that we are to follow. That He uses convents that no man can break even if we feel that our feelings or others opinion from Google searches trump them. No one wants to hear anything about God other than “He loves you just the way you are”. this mentality leads to calamity in life. God does love you, but He hates your sin more than you can imagine. I had to realize the hard way If all my children ever see in me as it relates to God is my old sinful behavior, how will they ever lead a life other than what they are and hear? Because of that I choose to lead and parent the way God has shown me and is a major reason why I didn’t run to another person as soon as my family split. God cannot work in your life if you aren’t living for Him and if you are living in sin. I choose to live for God all the days of my life even if that means I must remain single and alone when I don’t have my kids because my kids need stability and peace. Old Vern had no ability to do that but the Vern God saved and created me to be gets his needs met by the one and only true source; God. God says that if we let the world meet our needs we will hunger and thirst again- Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”(John 4:13-14). I will continue to teach and raise my children God’s way and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.
