This time in my life I chose God. I too used to live among the world like others and pick and choose what I wanted to follow and truthfully I was selfish in all my choices and ways. That’s what the world breeds in you. I was asked by a man, my neighbor the other day who is stuck in the world view “how can you possibly know God exists given all that you have been through and all that happened to you lately”?   That by itself is a great story.  The reality is, I had a choice to make .

A Choice to Make

When I was talking to the gentleman above, I answered him immediately, and told him that I know God exists, because He CHANGED me. And any person that can change me to my core has to be a miracle worker and God of wonders. He didn’t seem particularly convinced by that answer, so I shared with him some personal stories of miracles that God had done in my life over the last year and a half. One particular one that choked him up was a story about my son. He loves my son James and loves to watch him race his RC cars down the road!  Early on in this process when I “wasn’t allowed” to see my children, I found out later on that my son made it through in a special way. My son shared a story with me just a few weeks ago and told me that he was so angry when he couldn’t see me but the only thing that made him feel close to daddy was that he said he would listen to my songs including my Christian gospel playlist. My iTunes was still logged in to his iPod touch, and he would listen to the songs that I used to listen to over and over again. He told me this in the car when he was belting out the song “bring the rain”. When I shared the story with the man last week I could see him fighting back tears as a grown adult. He told me that he had no relationship with his father and nothing to remember him by. I believe that’s why he has such a hard time understanding that God can exist. In this world, we relate God to our fathers, and if we had bad fathers, we don’t believe that God exists or we believe that he is a bad God. or worse yet we live like they did not under Gods authority.   That’s why in this situation over the last year and a half I have decided to choose God over all things so that my children can witness that Kingdom Man behavior in me.

I Chose God

A long time ago before I even knew, God had chosen me and knew what was to come in my life before it happened. Only in this painful time frame did I finally begin to understand what God expects of me, what his laws are, and how the covenants He makes with his people work. For that reason I resolve to not do anything on purpose in my life that would dishonor God. That part of me, and that time of my life is over. the world will tell you to do what makes you happy. We are not called for that, but instead called to glorify God and that includes loving those who are unlovable.  Perfect example of this is that In the past year and a half I’ve had multiple opportunities to do things that the world practically begged me to do, and even promoted. One of those examples would be having a girlfriend “to replace your ex” and “moving on” while still married or even better yet having someone be a live-in girlfriend in my home with my children. I cannot tell you the number of people that told me that that would be OK because “you’re in a divorce proceeding” and you don’t live with your wife. God has tons to say about this situation (Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:18, Exodus 20:14, Jeremiah 13:27, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:2-3, 2 Corinthians 6:12-20 and about 50 more…). I couldn’t consciously make that choice, knowing that it was a sin against God directly and would violate the most sacred covenant that God made with his people. When I turned down the opportunity to end my loneliness, my sadness, and a chance with someone to split bills with again, it gave me the most amazing sense of calm and peace that I’ve ever had in my life. Normally that would’ve given me fear and anxiety and I would have clung to that person(s) like velcro and that’s how I know it is from God even though it cost me future relationship chances, and even ridicule by some.   Another example would be clients whose businesses do not honor God. More than ever, I’ve had the opportunity to work in industries that I know would not be acceptable in the eyes of the Lord (1 Corinthians 5:9-12). The money would’ve been great, the level of respect I would’ve gotten from other people would’ve been amazing, and the world would’ve celebrated me. But for the first time in my life, the Holy Spirit would not allow me to do those things. The idea and simply contemplating it just like the situation above gives me an ill uneasy feeling. I can no longer sin in ignorance because I know what is expected of me and therefore I choose God over me.


The summary, for this blog can be summed up in the fact that God is always first place in my life. Besides God, nothing is more important to me than my children and I will continue to live for both of them and take care of their needs first and foremost until God tells me that they are ready for me to Move on and move forward in my relationships. god says woe to anyone who makes their children stumble for their own selfish desires (Matthew 18:6, Luke 17:2).  As for me and my family, we will choose God first and we hope that everyone reading this chooses to as well!